Sunday, December 24, 2006

yesterday, went out wif my mum, sis and eight aunt...mum wan to buy sofa...cos our sofa r damn spoil...so we went to the furniture warehouse...den mum bought a sofa n a zip chair...den we went to IMM to eat...on the way down...i saw a 'clothes' tat i like...den my sis also say she like...so she ask mum to buy for her...den i also say i wan...so we choose different colour n i got no choice i hv to choose another cutting 'clothes' which i don like it loh...guess wat...i saw a short tat i like...so i ask if whether i can buy it...she jus look once...den nv say a word...n jus treating tat i was a invisible gal...she jus started to check the 'clothes' whether got any hole...i was thinking:"fine...she was jus busy so she don hv time to tok..."...so i jus sit aside n wait for the time to come...+-*/...den my little cousin ask me to acc him to buy coffee bread...when come back...i was damn angry...i saw my sis choosing belt...den she ask me to gif opinion...i really don feel like toking...but my aunt was there...so i don wan to let my mum to lose face...so i did not utter a word...but my heart got hurt again...

den 'uncle daddy' came...so we went back to the furniture warehouse to get our strawberry stools plus aunt wan to show uncle daddy dining table...after all tis...uncle daddy took us to turf city to eat...but before tat we went to walk around...mum ask me n sis to go n see clothes store...so we went to see...den sis saw a short...she ask mum...guess wat...mum ask her to go n try...den i went to walk around...i saw the some sofa very nice...i wanted to tell mum...but she jus treat me transparent...FINE...u my mother...i cant do anything wat...so i walk away...den i saw a 3quater short...i quite like it...so i ask mum nice anot...she finally tok...but the first word make me nth to say...she jus say not nice...den i say is i wan not for her...den she say i din say properly...so she ask me to go try...but of cos i din go try...she already say not nice y do i still hv to try...try liao also cannot buy...she surely will say not nice la, don buy...or say "later buy liao u also don wan to wear...don waste my money la"...FINE...i bear it...den my sis saw a clothes which i was looking at...den sis ask mum to buy...mum of cos bought it...so i got nth...SELFISH...i m damn jealous n envy...den i was standing at the wallet session...i saw some wallet tat i like...den uncle daddy pick one wallet...the design was simple but i like it...so i jus kidding to ask him to buy n gif me...den he really seriously wanted to buy n gif me...but i rejected...i really appreciated...but i don wan to owe ppl ren qing...den mum was toking to sis...those words tat they say really hurt me again n again...sis was saying tat the wallet was so cheap...(cheap also can use wat...i noe u got someone gif u ex wallet so u look down on tis wallet...)...den mum say"ya loh...so cheap...use for awhile surely will spoil..."(pls loh...ex wallet sometime also use awhile will spoil loh)...i was really angry...they say until like tis...how m i going to buy the wallet...say until so lousy...later if i buy, they surely say a lot of bad things abt it...i din utter a word loh...den sis saw a bracelate...she jus took mum money n buy...i noe u will think y i din jus take mum money to buy too...i of cos don wanna take la...if i take her money she would jus scold me wasting her money buying lame things...so angry loh...y she can take den i cannot???...m i really ur daughter???...so selfish for wat???...if don like me...don gif birth to me la...i m human loh...i hv feeling loh...stop treating me like i don exist loh...

den when we was walking to the car park(becos we cant find food court..)...uncle daddy was saying tat everyone bought a thing...except me...it's true...really one me din bought a thing home...(although i bought tat clothes, surely later also don belong to me)...so i was really upset...i really feel like crying at tat time...but i din...i bear it...uncle daddy den say...nxt time muz buy thing...don come out din buy a thing...so inside the car...they was asking go wher to eat...so i jus say go to the place tat i like to eat...aunt n mum they all was saying another place...but uncle daddy jus drove to the place tat i like...i really thank him a lot...at least he noe tat i m upset...so he ask me to eat all i wan...true enough...i got back...i not very sad abt it...

i realised some few thing yesterday...i noe y i so selfish n money minded...it's becos of my parents...my dad like to play 4D...mum so selfish...everytime ask me to gif sis n bro first...i always the last to choose(of cos nth to choose)...sis n bro can jus borrow or take money from mum...me???...whenever i go out...i take money from mum...when i came home, she would ask me took how much from her...she din ask bro n sis loh...she was treating me like a prisoner...whenever she got money or thing missing...she will first ask me...she will say if whether i took it...pls loh...i not a prisoner loh...i din do anything wrong loh...sis thing spoil, also say i jealous so i damage it...pls loh...i'm ur daughter leh...how can u say those words to hurt me???...so now, i started to save money n ask ppl to gif me money if they borrow thing from me(although i din take)...i become money minded...ppl owe me money, i will become loan shark...it's all becos of mum n dad...i become selfish...becos of mum selfishness...i learnt revenge...tat's wat mum n dad did to me...

I WILL NV FORGET ANYTHING OF TIS...I WILL RMB TILL I DIE...I CANT FORGET IT...EVEN IF I WAN TO FORGET IT...NEW WILL COME...U PPL R SO CRUEL...I M HUMAN TOO...I'M JEALOUS N ENVY BRO N SIS...Y DO I ALWAYS HV TO B THE LAST TO CHOOSE???...NO WONDER, MY RESULT ALSO BEHIND IN CLASS...IF TIS IS FATE...I REALLY HOPE TO END IT...I TRY HARD...I'M STRESSED...PLS B FAIR...U WAN US TO B FAIR...BUT U DIN DO IT URSELF...I HATE IT...

love evil ;;
5:18 PM <3