huimin aka pipi♥
dover ITE
ALWAYS 19 ^^\/
a simple girl living in a
complicated world
was listening to simple plan --- perfect...it remind me of all the memories when i was still a small kid...
i still remember when i was studying in nursery or kindergarden...i was trying to learn how to rite...my parents teach me how to rite my name first...every sunday my dad will find time to teach me how to rite...n tat was the scary part of my life...i usually will tried to hide away from dad...but of cos cant hide well...whenever i jus rite one word wrong or one stroke wrongly...my dad will hit me on my head...or when he gets frustrated he will jus throw me out of the chair...n of cos i will landed on the floor...i dare not cry...but i'm jus a child...of cos will cry la...den my dad will kick me or pull my hair...
i noe my dad dotes me more than my bro n sis...but it is also mean dote more get the hit more...n i of cos got beaten up more than they do...in tat time i really hate him a lot...i which he was not my dad whenever if he beat me...
when i study in primary sch...my life did not change much...he beat, kick and pull my hair...really hate it loh...but no choice loh...i dare not cry in front of them...so i hv to went to the toilet or bedroom n cry...no sound should b make...hate it la...
but now...i did not hv much word to talk to him...although i wil still answer every qns he asked...but only a word or a sentence...tat's all...haiz...
i really envious of my classmate n friends tat they at least still hv a family...me...nth at all...my friends say i got big house big room so envy...but all those big house big room...they r all jus a sight...a big house contain 5 ppl...2 adults n 3 kids...they dont really talk...they dont eat together...they dont hv fun together...they hv different mind set...they are not united...they r jus stranger to each other...
to me...i dont talk much to my dad...he went to work in the morning den came back home at a very late hour...at tat time i already slept...i din call him dad,papa or even father whenever i saw him...
my mum n me...i wan to tok to her...but she don...she only care abt her son n her young daughter...she tink tat my dad dotes me...so she can don care me...sigh...everytime tok to her...our topics r always at her son or young daughter...hate it loh...
me n bro n sis...envious of them...how i wish i can b them...so tat i can be dote by mum too...but bro n sis jus don get it loh...sis everytime tink tat mum don care abt her...but she donno tat mum care her more than me loh...she only tink abt sis not me...
me...i m jus an extra living in tis earth...no one cares abt my feeling...i m lonely....ppl outside always tink i m anti-social...it's jus tat i don wanna feel lonely...in a grp i always got left out...everyone r even together...i jus an odd one trying to squeeze into the grp...tat's y i don like to talk...i noe wat i type is very blur n cannot b understand...but it jus something i stored in my heart for a long time n i wan to let it out bcos i m going to burst liao...
i very frustrated...y cant i hv a wonderful family...i noe nth is perfect...but it jus a small wish i wan...
love evil ;;
2:50 PM <3
